I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
