piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Found your dick twin last night
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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