do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
