I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
