the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
