'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Randomize
