oh god the rape fog is back!
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
