tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
My dad just said "fuck circus"
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Randomize