How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
