guys are not supposed to queef...right?
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
Randomize
