So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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