I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
