This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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