He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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