I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
