i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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