hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
