adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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