Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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