Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Randomize
