i don't plan on having that self control this summer
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
