stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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