And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
