Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
