It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
