i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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