It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
