I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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