She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
