Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
