Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Randomize
