Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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