i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
