We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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