So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
3pm strippers are depressing
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
