I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Did I show you my penis last night?
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
