If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
