It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Randomize
