i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
