I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
