She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
