I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
