Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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