i jhust puked up my retainher.
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
