Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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