Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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