Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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