Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
