just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
