i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
