God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
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