Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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