i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
She announced her abortion via fbk
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
